2005_08_01_archive

HP Tech Support

Me: My server is broken, here are the symptoms: X, Y and Z.

HP Guy One: Any lights on the mother board?

Me: Just solid green ones

HP Guy One: Take out the 2nd processor - let's simplfy the problem set

Me: Done. Hey look X, Y and Z don't happen! You're a genius

HP Guy One: I've dispatched a tech with a new processor he'll show up

in the a.m.

Me: Great (hang up) now to reboot the server one last time ...

Me: My server is broken here are the symptoms: X, Y and Z. You'll note

you've dispatched a tech to fix the processor but the processor can't

be the problem - it's on the bench. And look - we've had four servers

with this same model number, same symptoms and it's been the

motherboard.

HP Guy Two: How old is your BIOS?

Me: Unhhhhhh hey look it's two years old but ...

HP Guy Two: That's it. Update your BIOS. That will fix your problem.

Call us back if it doesn't

Me: But, but ..

HP Guy Two: Bye now!

Me: Just for the fun of it I apply the BIOS. Why not? It's after

working hours (or nearly so) - the folks who use this application

aren't using it much at this point in the day. I've given up on my

evening.

Me: My server is broken here are the symptoms: X, Y and Z. You'll note

you've dispatched a tech to fix the processor but the processor can't

be the problem - it's on the bench. And look - we've had four servers

with this same model number, same symptoms and it's been the

motherboard. Please contact the guy coming out here or have him call

me so he doesn't waste a trip ... and my time ... and our user's time

... hauling the wrong part from Chicago.

HP Guy Three: Can do .. okay .. he's been notified to call you.

Me: Wow.

Later;

I'm on hold with Ariba about their authentication service which was